Review:

     Director James Mangold brings forth this wonderful tale of good versus evil set against the arid and picturesque Southwestern United States desert region.  Christian Bale portrays Dan Evans as a retired soldier who moved West in search of a better life.  Unfortunately, times are hard and he is in desperate need to support his family.  Russell Crowe is the outlaw Ben Wade and represents the obstacle to Dan’s success.  Wade is the end which will justify all means necessary and prove to be the catalyst for Dan’s determination for high morale standards.  Will the goodness in man overcome its propensity for violence or is this a futile attempt to make some foolish cash in order to make a point to an adolescent boy? 

     To begin with, the cinematography in 3:10 to Yuma is simply incredible.  There are breathtaking vistas which transport the viewer back to a time when too many people settled things in the dirt streets with the barrel of a gun.  In this part of the untamed West, we find a humble man trying to do the best for his family during some difficult times.  Dan Evans is a modest man with a unassuming nature.  Being an ex-soldier has had a profound impact on his life.  With all the lawlessness in the land, it is a daunting task for him to keep to the straight and narrow while always trying to do the right thing.  Evans is tested, taunted, and tempted time and time again to unleash his anger.  There are many scenes which depict this point of view.  The eyes may be the windows to the soul and Evans’ are still cracked open just a bit to provide that glimpse of a past life which he wishes to distance himself and his family from ever seeing again.  For the sake of his family, he must maintain his composure at all times.  Much to the dismay of his young son, he continues to shy away from violence.

     From their initial meeting to the very end, Wade has an ever increasing curiosity about what makes Evans tick.  There is this constant probing of each other’s inner psyche and what compels someone to react in a given situation.  Call it a strong predisposition of trying to figure out why things are what they are.  Are they from the same mold or did they become victims of their own circumstances?    

     A simple task, it was not.  It was a high price to pay for doing the right thing.  3:10 to Yuma has great acting.  Christian Bale and Russell Crowe are equals on the screen despite being on opposite ends of the morality spectrum.  Although the movie runs a bit over two hours, the pacing is excellent.  The finale was a bit over the top, but presents a more than satisfying climax to the film. 

Mike's Rating: 9 out of 10 Jail Cell Rail Cars (One of the year’s best)
MPAA Rating: Rated R for violence and some language

Running Time: 2 hour 2 minutes

Plot Summary:

     An impulsive woman hooks up with an unsuspecting stranger and takes him on the ride of his life.

Review:
     Something Wild was directed by Jonathan Demme five years before he unleases The Silence of the Lambs on the world.  Starring Jeff Daniels as the closet rebel and Melanie Griffith as the loose cannon with a penchant for counter productive behavior, the film takes the viewer into a world of lying, cheating, and stealing.  Throw in an ex-con husband with a short fused temper and we have the opportunity for some harsh circumstances.  John Waters, of all people, has a cameo appearance as a shady used car salesman providing a bit of comedic relief.

      The film starts out innocently enough with Charles Driggs (Daniels) having lunch at a small café.  It all goes downhill from here when he walks out on his tab.  Unfortunately for him, Lulu aka Audrey (Griffith) sees him and uncovers him for what he is.  She convinces him he is a closet rebel and offers him a ride so he can complete some errands.  This, I believe, is her first of many lies.  Soon they find themselves driving out of the city and into the countryside of New Jersey.  They stop at a liquor store which she robs unbeknownst to the clerk and they end up at a seedy motel for some meaningless encounter.  Until the hateful ex-con husband arrives, their interactions mostly consist of her pushing him to do things he would otherwise not be dumb enough to commit. 

     Enter Ray Sinclair (Ray Liotta) at the high school reunion of all places where Lulu has told people her and Charlie are married with two kids.  Needless to say, most people are in disbelief because Lulu is hot and Charlie is not.  Ray and Lulu meet and both are a bit freaked out.  Ray cannot fathom Lulu with another man and Lulu wants to know when he got out of prison.  Oh, other than having a hot temper Ray is a habitual criminal too.  Ray manages to dump Charlie and make off with Lulu.  Not to be deterred, Charlie gets it in his mind that he and Lulu should be together.  Charlie needs a new love in his life since his wife left him took the kids and made off with the family dentist. 

     Charlie follows them and waits until an opening presents itself to get Lulu away from Ray.  Later that evening, Ray and Lulu are having dinner at a restaurant and a police man sits down at a nearby table.  Enter Charlie unexpectedly where he confronts Ray and manages to pry Lulu away.  Pretty good scene cause Ray fears being rearrested and reluctantly complies.  Are they safe now?  Heck no, there is one more battle for the hand of Lulu.  And that takes place back at Charlie’s home outside New York City.  Not to get into the gory details, let’s just say that the good guy wins and eventually gets the girl. 

     Something Wild was a fun little film.  The characters interacted well and the script was believable.  Charlie and Lulu’s meeting was happenchance or was it?  Their thrill ride together was the result of the charade they were playing.  Charlie was the despondent husband and Lulu the lonely wife whose husband was in jail and who she no longer loved.  All in all, I enjoyed this movie. 

Mike's Rating: 7 out of 10 Battle-Car Galacticas (Convertibles that is)
MPAA Rating:  Rated R for violence, language, and mature subject matter

Running Time: 1 hour 53 minutes

Plot Summary:

     A knight returning home from the crusades in the 14^th century has a chance encounter with the Grim Reaper.

Review:
     Anyone for a good game of chess?  The Seventh Seal is a story of a noble man Antonius Block played by Max von Sydow and his squire who encounter Death (Bengt Ekerot) as they are returning home from the Crusades.  And although they left with the intention of defending the Church and its beliefs, they are left questioning their own existence and life’s meaning.  To stave off the inevitable, the knight challenges the Grim Reaper to a game of chess in order to gain some more time as he seeks the knowledge he so desires.  Along the way, they encounter others who join them as they make their way through the countryside to his castle.  Oh by the way, the Black Plague is happening and people are dying by the hundreds everyday.  This sets the tone throughout the film.

     Shot entirely in black and white, The Seventh Seal is a compelling and insightful film about one’s quest to achieve a higher understanding of the meaning of life and the purpose of man’s being.  Although the movie is more than 50 years old, the themes still resonate in this modern day and age.  Everyone’s time is limited and nobody knows for sure how long they will be around.  The central character only realizes this only after death comes a’ knocking.  The gloominess is heightened by the fact that the Black Plague looms over everyone.  People are panicking and scared.  Bergman gives the audience a bird’s eye view of all that afflicts each person.  The cinematography is incredible.  The black and white shows the contrast between light and dark as well as life and death.  The technique was very effective in telling the story. 

     Is Antonius really trying to cheat Death?  Unfortunately, time is all he really needs.  There are some really important scenes which help him understand life, death, and the existence of God.  Most notably: the interactions with the supposed witch set to burn at the stake, at the Church when he gives what would seem to be a confession, the scene with the townspeople when the procession of monks are chanting and condemning all those within earshot, and finally at the castle during the torrential downpour.  All of these situations help the character build a wider perspective about his existence.  The interactions with the Grim Reaper are merely a ploy.  It is good that the Reaper has the time to spare.  It is a bit ironic since all his customers are out of time.  

     The Seventh Seal is one of the greatest films of all time.  There are no car chases, no comedic relief, etc.  It is simply an attempt to provide a glimpse into what drives mankind, a story looking into the inner self at the core of our being.  It is a stark reminder of our mortality and our limited time in this world.

Special Note:  If you feel a bit depressed after watching this film, go grab a copy of Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991).

Mike's Rating: 9 out of 10 Knight Takes Queen…Check
MPAA Rating: Not Rated but would probably warrant a PG-13 for an overwhelming sense of dread and mature subject matter

Running Time: 1 hour 32 minutes

Plot Summary:

     Witless Protection is the latest incarnation of Larry The Cable Guy in a feature film role.  This time he portrays a hapless deputy in a small town that is out to “do some good”. 

Review:
     So what does a film critic do after Hollywood’s most prestigious awards are given to all those highly acclimated movies, that’s right you city folks, he goes to unwind at Larry The Cable Guy’s latest comedic tour-de-farce.  Witless Protection stars Larry as well as notable actors Yaphet Kotto (Alonzo Mosely) as the FBI agent entrusted with bringing Ivana Milicevic (Madeline) to appear in a Chicago courtroom.  Jenny McCarthy (Connie) plays the waitress who is in love with Larry. There are other prominent actors like Joe Mantegna (Dr. Rondog Savage) as the small town medical examiner/funeral home director and Eric Roberts (Wilford Duvall) as a security advisor.  In the story Deputy Larry mistakenly thinks someone is being kidnapped and does what he can to free her from her captors. 

     Witless Protection is a primer example of getting exactly what you would expect.  As awful as this film was I actually enjoyed myself.  There is a scene where Madeline says she has been with Larry long enough to actually understand him.  Coincidentally, I knew how she felted.  Larry spouts out euphemisms like an over flowing book of good ole country farm boy jargon.  Instead of an intellisensical crime drama with exceptional performances by top notch actoraters, we have a meandering drive-by bodily function secreting trailer park trash storyline.  The jokes have a shotgun effect.  Some hit the mark while most fail to do so.  Despite this problem, I could not feel sorry for their efforts.  It would appear that Larry and I have something in common.  That would be a willingness to embare ass ourselves in order to get the laff out of people.  For that, I admire his effort.  And while Larry is never at a loss for words, Madeline is por-dinner-trayed as a high class socialite.  Dr. Savage is just weird and only briefly appears.  The movie is very predictable.  This story is nothing new.  But it is very much a skinematic car wreck and you just cannot help but watch. 

     Hopefully, this gives you a glimpse into my post Oscar reawakening.  Seeing an incredibly whorendous film only lets me appreciate the better films more.  With this in mind, Witless Protection has served its porpoise.  If you have the time and do not fear losing four and a half brain cells, go see this film.  It is not totally without merit.  Just be sure to know what you are getting yourself into and take it at face value.             

Mike's Rating: 4 out of 10 Pig Snot Poke in the Eyes (Uh?)
MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13 for crude and sex related humor or, at least, an attempt at humor

Running Time: 1 hour 37 minutes